Right now im in the mood to die. don't think that i can't hear you laugh. i used to be a lot like you, but now i'm only me. i went over to allysons last night with courtney and tracy. the usual crowd was over there with carter. it was kind of weird. but i got over it. then everyone thought i was pissed off at alyssa, which i wasn't. i was just annoyed more so with life than anyone in particular. its just like after a while i can't stand the routine. the mindless fun just loses its appeal. after a while i starve for something more, some intelligent conversation or something that can feed my need for depth. its nothing anyone would understand.


and it doesnt matter to me. thats right. we could be friends or you could hate me, either way i think i would be okay in the end. i'm not exactly sure what you want from me. i feel like you want two different things. its like part of you wants me to be completely over you and just a friend but then you get pissed when i say i dont care if we're friends. so which is it? i really don't understand. maybe its one of those things that i could have predicted would happen but im sure you would have denied it. i really didnt expect it to end up like this though.