Tuesday, September 25, 2012

waiting to live, waiting to die

waiting for an absolution that would never come.

living alone is totally boring.

dentistry next week means practicing dentals on dead dog heads and getting out before lunch!

the junior surgery adoptable dogs are so fucking cute.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

all i ever had, redemption songs

add it to the endless list of all the things i'll never miss.

i have this pillow with birds on it. i don't use it or the chair it sits on. but i like that they are there.

life changes so profoundly in ways we never could have predicted, but i still cry when i watch Forrest Gump and Titanic.

i hate meeting new people 97% of the time, which is why i am friends with 3% of my class.

entropy.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

The Patriot?

I guess I'm joining the army. Wish me years of debt-free luck!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

say something profound

I miss my dogs. I love goats. I miss home.

Things for this weekend:

1. see my pups
2. go to Bigby's
3. eat Lou's
4. sleep in

I'll be missing an Illini tailgate day, but I'm pretty sure I'll survive.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Song of myself

Happy 94th birthday, Paul Billhymer.

In light of that, the things I do on a daily basis are more than slightly unimpressive.

Now I just need to decide whether or not to join the army. In order to do that, I have to figure out what $200,000 is worth to me.

25 years or debt or 8 years of service?

The possibilities are endless.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Syncope

How do we know where to go from here? How do we know when to go there?

longing for something. more?

something is missing. or is it? how do we ever know what direction we should take? how do we ever know which path is less traveled? and if we should even take the path less traveled? How do we know if it will make any difference at all, let alone "all" the difference?

do we stop asking questions because we believe or do we stop asking questions because we stop caring about the answer?

when do we get to the point where enough is enough?

and then how do we keep going?

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Two Hearted

I love oncology. I also love surgery.

I like the idea of specializing.

Monday, September 10, 2012

what budget?

As fiscally savvy as my parents have always been, it would have been nice to get a little guidance regarding the $160,000 of debt that I am about to have (and the $40,000 I currently do.) With 6.8% interest.

Living alone is also a lot more boring and lonely than I thought it would be.

I also kind of love my relationship. It is kind of awesome.

Specialties are  confusing. I don't know what I want to do. the idea of an additional 4 years after this first 4 is just crazy. But maybe worth it.