please keep the crowd under control. this is a matter of life and death and were not prepared. we just want you to know. this is the weight of my conscious. this is an all time low.


I wish i lived in Seattle. I wish i was there now.

This one's for you Steve...

"I can be an asshole of the grandest kind.
I can withhold like it's going out of style.
I can be the moodiest baby.
And you've never met anyone as negative as I am sometimes.

I am the wisest woman you've ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen.
And you've never met anyone as positive as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part.
You see all my light, and you love my dark.
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed.
There's not anything to which you can't relate.
And you're still here.

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking.
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating.
I'm the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known.
And you've never met anyone as everything as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part.
You see all my light and you love my dark.
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed.
There's not anything to which you can't relate.
And you're still here.

What I resist, persists and speaks louder than I know.
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go.

You see everything, you see every part.
You see all my light and you love my dark.
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed.
There's not anything to which you can't relate.
And you're still here."

The words they use so lightly, i only feel for you... and i would never lie to you no...

and you think your life is horrible? it must be so perfect, having everything.

my mood was getting better. now its not better. now its worse.

i'm way in the background. is anyone ever really happy?

The lunatic is on the grass.

and perfect is and illusion and life you save will never be your own.

I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven

Prom was fun. Stephen was nice. Tracy's birthday is wednesday and she's my very good friend. its 83 degrees in my room and i'm not going to school tomorrow. Pink Floyd is depressing.

and as joy division accurately summed up: Love WILL tear us apart.

call me crazy. i' m just somewhat lost. i cant wait to get out of my life.

Prom was fun. i love melissa berena. now im just lamenting and listening to pink floyd. today as an after prom activity steve and i went to wendys and then returned his tux. our group wasnt really friends with us so we felt awkward hanging out with them today. my room is really hot.



"We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl year after year. Running over the same old ground. What have we found? The same old fears. Wish you were here."

I love Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain.

the rest of the civil war was boring but, what a heart throb. and the battle of gettysburg was intense. Killer Angels was a good book. Now onward- to the progressives!!!!!

Horace Mann being my second favorite after Lucretia Mott.

Pop Quiz: do any of the current "Riot Grrrlz" know what the Seneca Falls conference was and who was involved? I bet you don't.

I cant take it anymore. i hate andrew jackson. lauren tragically informed me yesterday that she is... yes... a democrat. say it ain't so. oh well. i think i'm going to go buy erin mcnamee's book on amazon.com now.

biggest annoyance of the week: anarchy, and all those favoring an anti-government

Okay time to study those lame first 25 presidents

I don't update very often. i'm not sure why not because i like this better than livejournal. from what i've gathered so far, live journals become obnoxious and it seems like people feel compelled to write about worthless details regarding their daily routines that just seem monotonous and boring. i'd rather not really be a part of that. of course i'll still write in livejournal, but there just wont be any real value in what i say. that is not to say that what i write in this is valuble or anything. but i feel more comfortable knowing only my friends have this link, and even they don't often access it. right now i am thinking of colleges i want to go to and i have a recently updated top 5.

1. Rice
2. Cornell
3. UVA
4. Georgetown
5. Wesleyan

Now i'm going to go study some more for the US final and AP test. i guess this is life. oh axle.