Atrophy

4 days of not running has been awesome! I really don't know why I decided to try and run a Marathon. I hate exercise. I also hate anyone who woke up at 5am today just to watch the royal wedding.

Ew chai tea is spicy

There is a duck nest right next to our porch and the momma duck gets scared if you go in or out of the front door so now we only use the garage.

how am i not myself?

Eminem is playing at lollapalooza this year so every cloud has a silver lining. the cloud just happens to be my existence. i need to go read some Camus and ponder my insignificance.

cry cry cry.

we're not in infinity; we're in the suburbs.

me: "Eric, you would be a terrible air traffic controller."
my dad: "No he wouldn't, i think he would be great at it."

chicanery

if i get two cats i'm going to name them Nefarious and Perfidy. If i only get one cat i will name him Nefarious, unless he already comes with a name and it happens to be Stan, in which case, i will leave it.

i feel like the percent yield of my life is much lower than 100%.

i forgot to do my physics lab write up. oops.

Waste of a studying day

Ran at 7:30 am- 4 miles. It felt slow. My left leg hurts in a really strange way. Almost like its bruised all the way down. I didn't eat or drink anything before I went and that probably contributed to it feeling so rough.  My leg is starting to worry me.

Easter in Milwaukee was surprisingly uneventful and I probably should have stayed home and studied all day. I'm really tired now and don't want anything to do with physics. I hope that organic lab quiz isn't tomorrow.

run blogging

i figured the easiest way to keep track of my running was to write it on here. this could be obnoxious if anyone read this, but since no one does, at least it serves as a record keeper. hopefully i will be able to look at this and see if certain aspects of my day affect my run more than others i.e. sleep/food choice/time of run/hydration. i'm sure it will provide a lot more insight once i start wearing my watch and pacing but i'm still too scared of knowing how slow i am.

today i ate oatmeal at 7:30AM. i ran at 4 pm. an hour before my run i ate some pita chips and hummus and a banana. i ran 7 miles in my kinvaras and had absolutely no issues. my arches and knees feel fine. i never felt "tired." i noticed i was running more midfooty at the beginning and it almost felt like prancing. it was kind of awesome. hopefully ill be able to prance for longer distances as i wear them more often. i drank a little gatorade right before the run and 28 oz of water throughout the morning. i drank some more gatorade around mile 5. overall it was a successful run and i felt happy and fast and maybe not quite as knock kneed.

i've kind of given up on the brooks because they really hurt my knee and that's an injury that isn't worth the $100 i paid for the shoes. As for the triumphs, since they are significantly heavier than the kinvaras, i kind of don't want to race in them. i ran in the new ones once and they felt clunky and i felt slow. that's not really a fair chance but i did also feel rubbing in the exact same blister spot as my last triumphs despite ordering another half size bigger. this is really annoying because they were expensive and now they are dirty and i can't send them back.

Perfunctory

It took over a year for the swelling from my varicose vein removal to go away. Now I'm starting to get another one in the same leg. Awesome.

Uriah Heap

My runs are either great or awful. Usually they are enjoyable on the days I least expect them to be. Today was one of those days.

Anxiety attack almost started in the pharmacy line at Walgreens. Ironically while trying to pick up a prescription for Xanax. I hope I can stop crying and hyperventilating during physics tests because its more than slightly embarrassing.

I love studying GRE vocabulary. Mostly because I love using big words and alienating people.

Bombastic.

i still believe in capitalism.

I guess if i want cheap vans they are going to have to be pink and purple. i don't know if i want cheap vans that badly.

Liberals really confuse me. I don't think i could ever vote democrat for the following reasons:

1. I would like be able to decide where the money that I earn goes. Ideally, I would like it to go to me.
2. I do not believe in the equal redistribution of wealth.
3. Obama (and all the progress he's made)

just because i am fiscally conservative does not mean that i am pro-life/anti-gay/war-loving/planned parenthood hating/environment hating; but i really do love being categorized as all these things.

Our morally bankrupt government has been masquerading as Robin Hood and has successfully convinced an ignorant american population that we live in a society where "everybody wins" if you allocate correctly.

wrong.

Split ends

Its gets harder everyday to convince my body that diet coke is a legitimate meal.

Cryptic

5 is the new 4.

4,5,5,4,0,6,7.

Summer: Portland,  GRE, tough mudder, decorating the cabin, riding my bike to work, not taking any classes, running at the hottest point of the day, likely retaking the GRE, visiting U of I, day drinking.

Its weird to think that ill actually be applying in 5 months. Its weird that the direction my life is going to take will be determined in 10 months.

I wish I were more interesting and had ample material for my personal statement. Unfortunately, I'm not and I don't.

Throw some glitter.

I can't wait for this semester to be over. I cant wait to stop feeling guilty for watching a movie instead of studying. I'm actually looking forward to studying for the GRE. I'm not looking forward to getting in touch with Olaf professors for letters of rec and I need to do that sooooooooon.

Cyclic

Oscillating between moments of paralyzing anxiety and drunken abandon, I find myself at a crossroads.

Connected. Estranged.

Stop updating re: running

Ill blog all I want about running because im the only one who reads this anyway. but I swear im going to delete anyone I'm friends with on facebook who continuously posts status updates about every single fucking run. I don't care that you just ran 7 miles and it was so windy! Also you don't need to Carb load before an 8k. Its 5 miles, get over yourself.

i hate running shoes

my tab to date on running shoes to replace my saucony triumph 7's is over $400. hopefully ill be able to at least take 100 of that off since i just ordered (as i always knew i would) 2 pairs of triumph 8s. one in 9.5 wide and one 10 reg. these are both an attempt to get ride of the constant blister on the inside of my foot from friction. i will keep the kinvaras i guess and i have no choice but to keep the adrenaline gts 11s since ive already run 22 miles in them but i'm so fucking annoyed for the following reasons:

1. a stability shoe does not prevent my knees from knocking or my ankles from pronating
2. gts 11s make my feet burn after 2 miles even with the lightest socks i own  in 60 degree weather (wtf?)
3. triumph 7s create huge blisters on the inside of my foot but are other wise perfect
4. gts 11s make my left knee ache horribly after only 6 miles
5. gts 11s make my right foot numb
6. superfeet kill my arches when they are supposed to support and help them
7. triumphs are a neutral shoe, which is what everyone tells me i should NOT be in, yet they feel better than every stability shoe i've tried.
8. i'm not fat but i can't seem to let go of a really cushioned running shoe.
9. why are my feet so hot in these adrenalines??!??!?!??

i'm so glad i bought these shoes in the most obnoxious colors they make them in because now i'm too poor to buy new birkenstocks and i have to wear these as my every day shoes and they are bright purple or bright pink (kinvaras) and i will look like some REI camper every day of my life when i really just want to be wearing new (discrete) birkenstocks with sweatpants and never have to wear jeans again because i hate them.

the weather was awesome today. the wind was not. hopefully the cabin will be finished by memorial day weekend. i'm not taking any classes this summer so i can decorate it fabulously. i'm quickly losing momentum for this "calling" that i had 2.5 years ago. MBA school sounds fabulous now.

i wish i didn't have to go to dick pond to get the right shoes. i wish someone could just tell me that my triumphs are ok even though i look like a goon running in them and 12 year old girls make fun of me and mock my stride while i pass them on the sidewalk. talk about a shot to the ego.

What do yu say?

Nothing, except this sucks