i think if there was one thing that ive been thinking about a lot lately its my virginity, and whether or not to keep it. i mean everyones talking about sex lately. and i mean. i wish i just knew. like i either DEFINITELY wanted to wait or DEFINITELY didnt. but right now i dont know? i mean i really dont know what i would do. its so hard to decide before it happens and then when it does you will know if you made the right or wrong decision. i dont know its so dumb. whatever. i dont know what to do. not like i have a whole lot of options. but lets say the opportunity did arise, i would like to think of myself as capable of making a choice i can live with. i just don't know which one. i mean sometimes i just think about what my reasons are and i dont really have a lot of good stable reasons to have sex but i dont really have any reasons not to.


i feel like i don't even know you anymore. maybe thats because i don't. sometimes i think youve finally figured me out and understand exactly how i work, but then the next day youre the same stupid boy i knew 2 years ago, i don't think that will ever change. viewing only you through rose colored glasses has left me blinded and oblivious to everything around me and i finally accept that my idealism has surpassed all practicalities. i give up. you won't be seeing me around anymore.