im sitting here listening to God of Wine by third eye blind and its a really good song that sometimes makes me cry but tonight its not really making me sad. more or less numb. i dont really feel anything at the moment. sometimes i wish i was an addict of some sort just so i could have an excuse for being so fucked up half the time. and i guess in a way i am addicted. addicted to drowning myself in self defeat. even when i haven't lost anything. i feel emotionally and physically drained and i hate it. i think its schools fault for the most part. i just need it to be over and i need to sign up for summer school tomorrow. i dont ever want to take gay ass health. boooooooo i just want to go to sleep forever... ohh life.