ive posted this before.. but i like it...

Its like at first you dont realize it. and you dont really understand it. you just know that its over and for some reason it hurts. but why does it hurt? its a question ive been asking myself for years. i have reached no conclusions execpt the insecurities that lie within myself are greater than the self-confidence i am capable of obtaining. i have been looking for fields of roses in deserts of dandylions and i shouldnt even be concerned with the roses because im only 16 and i know i can tell myself i take myself to seriously but i dont know if ill ever understand until its too late. sometimes you never expect the people you know to really change you. but gradually if you look back you realize you did change. i wonder how i would be if i didnt make some of the choices id made and didnt meet the people i did. i guess its all part of some big plan. and despite my openmindedness about religion and the fact that i accept every different opinion. i still believe in a higher power. i just do. and i know how stupid some people think that is. and for a while i tried to convince myself out of faith. but i wouldnt even be kidding myself because i knwo what i believe and i don't want to change that. so. to each his own. and i guess i needed to just get it off my chest.