im pretty sure the only family gathering that i have introduced my friends to was my confirmation. and that was ali. and i felt horrible as it was because she spent way too much time with the judds. they are hard to handle. i mean "practicality" is a word rarely heard over by there in wisconsin. so i have to post the funny thing that i thought of when i was reading stuff just now. so it was at church the day of my confirmation and ali was there and my grandma started talking to her and she was like "oh hi dear whats your name?" and ali naturally said, "ali" and she said "ohhh isn't that funny? you're ALI, i'm ELLIE, and our dog is OLLIE!!!!" oh grandma, you always know how to take an awkward situation and make it.... awkwarder... i know im not the only one who thinks my grandparents are insane. keiko has met them too. i was luckily able to pay her into being my friend again... one of these days someone won't make it out alive.

like me for instance... or my grandpa. most likely me because he's the psycho with the kitchen cuttlery. lets see.... easter was that the last big holiday? yes i believe so. on easter, bless that day, we went to janesville for the semi-annual judd family gathering from hell itself. this year was especially amusing because im tired of all my cousins, except the ones who are scared of me... but they are scared of me and so i cant even talk to them. so i read and acted morbid. put on a big act. so i go to my mom before the absurdly early easter dinner is served and say "hey so can i sit at the adult table this year?" (yes there is an adult table and a childrens table, mind you the adult table is not constitued as the mature table more so than the table in lack there of) so my mom asks her dad and guess what grandpa said. he said "no, she can sit with the kids after the antics she tried to pull at thanksgiving"

my antics let me tell you, were punishable by death in most states. my brother and i blew out the candles on the table repeatedly and then hung spoons on our noses. it was one of those situations that isnt really funny but while youre getting reprimanded you can just not stop laughing. so grandpas holding the good ol' thanksgiving day grudge. not unusual. about 3 years earlier he had checked, yes chekced, my 4 year old cousin into the wall because he was cutting the turkey and she made the horrible mistake of going within a 10 foot radius of him.

so back to easter. i sat at the kids table, like the good girl i am. but let me tell you i did it kicking and screaming all the way. it only makes sense that im the oldest cousin on that side and the next oldest is eric. so its really easy to be a huge bitch by being SUPER immature. whats the easiest way in this situation? well yelling and throwing food NATURALLY. well then grandpa shuts the door between the two rooms! ha. well piss off grandpa

then to show his very adult like behavior, he refused to say goodbye to me when we left. oh BILL would ya lighten up!? or in the words of my occasionally drunk grandma "BILL yOUre and ASSHOLE" (make sure to slur the sss in asss)

BUT no situation compares to dominiques entire WEEK spent with the judds at the cabin. man she saw everything and if my mom wasnt making me get off the computer i would write all about it. in fact i think i'll do that. maybe tomorrow we can go in the lab for consumer ed again and i can sneak onto blogger.com and blog it up because im such a bad ass