today was a nice slow moving saturday. but now that i think about it, i feel like it went by too fast. there is nothing to stop time and sometimes i wish there was. it all just keeps coming and the day starts and ends before you know it. the days turn in to weeks which turn into months and its like everyone is building up and waiting for something. like some cosmic event. like life is just anticipation for the future. or mourning over the past. what exactly does it mean to "live in the now"? i go to school because its what youre supposed to do, and i get the grades i need to get into college, this prepares me for graduate school, and after i get my phd, ill get a job to prepare myself for my family, and then meet a guy and then i can start planning for all kinds of future events like weddings, anniversaries, children, life. but then what? is everything we do just a step on the planning ladder? today someone asked me why i don't do my homework and if i do its always half-assed. well ive been thinking about that a lot. why don't i do my homework? i guess the conclusion ive drawn is that i don't enjoy my homework, and i don't enjoy school. and if im going to end up spending half my life in school, i don't want to have to think about my wasting a perfectly good soul on school when there are so many other things i would rather be doing. in the time i would spend doing homework if i did it all i could do things like spend real time with my friends, or read a book, or watch a movie. all of these are things that i would rather do than homework. and when it comes down to it, i don't think grades are reall what matters in life. and its really annoying when i meet people whose lives revolve around school. because then you just have to wonder... what is this person living for?