i don't know how exactly people become friends. maybe its just one conversation sparked by a common interest. maybe its just completely accidental. or maybe its entirely planned out. i know i choose friends based on my strengths and weaknesses. the people who i consider my best friends are incomparibly better people than i am. and despite my bullheaded selfish nature, i am gradually begining to change. i still make mistakes. very often, and usually very grave. and i'm still just as insensitive as i was. but i'm slowly growing up. and i'm slowly learning that even though i make these incomprehensible mistakes, i get forgiven. because honestly my friends are amazing people. I haven't always been friends with amazing people. i suppose i never thought i deserved to be friends with the really really good hearted and wonderful people. after realizing that the people i was "friends" with didn't really care about who i was as a person at all, i realized that i didn't care about who anyone was as a person either. knowing this and trying to change and still making mistakes is like putting salt on an open wound. i'll never completely measure up to my friends, and ill never be as mature and forgiving as they are. I'll never be as cool. But i'm just glad they like me anyway.