gloryfades72: it does indeed. today since i didnt go to school i missed every club picture for the yearbook
gloryfades72: which of course is depressing because my sole purpose in high school is to do as many extracirricular activities as it takes for people to see me as a well balanced adolescent who know's where she's going in life

Auto response from GoHangGoneHung: ap euro

gloryfades72: and odds are slim to none that no one will ever seem me as such so why try right? good question. apparently it was the question of the day since i knowingly avoided or accidentally missed, this pictures. not only that but i missed the only class that i truly have passion for which is english. some might say that this passion will result in me being an english teacher but iw ould like to think otherwise. because though i respect all in the given field, only one exception, i can't see myself teaching anyone anything because i don't have the patience, or the right mindset. i am what i hate. which is, "i understand it, i dont get how you don't" probably not the best mentality for teachers so i figure i'll just keep my distance unless i suddenly develop an overwhelming sense of compassion and desire to help others achieve what i so willingly have strived to protect and save, the only real thing in life, the only thing that seperates us from our animal counterparts, our words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gloryfades72: but since i don't see this tidal wave of compassion coming anytime soon i might just drift aimlessly towards the idea of journalism
gloryfades72: which could be pretty cool
gloryfades72: so youre probably thinking wow audrey youre a 16 year old psycho who will never take life or herself seriously yet at the same time you take everything way TOO seriously. is this possible? maybe youre not thinking that at all or really thinking anything because i don't really say things that are remotely thought-provoking. and here i go just talking talking talking and for what? the distant hope that you'll understand and read this? maybe not even that maybe im just typing this formyself because i dont know where else or to who else i should talk about any of these things that i'm thinking about at 5 million mph and all these isssues i have with the american people and just people in general and all these people i see at school and who i think about constantly and not in a love kind of way but in a how do you live kind of way because sometimes i just don't understand and sometimes i just cant take myself. i'm too much and i feel like i'm too much for other people, and maybe i am but then what do i do? i don't ever calm down and i don't ever stop. i don't know where i'm going to school or if i'm even smart enough to go anywhere outside of illinois. what is smart? can someone define it for me and then tell me if i am? what does it mean to be smart? am i street smart? because i certainly don't feel like it. i feel like i just float around and bump into things here and there until someone snaps me out of it. but they dont even really get me out of it because i think im still floating around

Auto response from GoHangGoneHung: ap euro

gloryfades72: are people born smart? is it all biological? and if it is does that meanyour parents have to be really smart for you to be smart? because my parents didn't go to ivy league schools like some peoples parents did and they arent doctors or engineers but i still feel theyre smart. and i'm not really good at math. or physics. but i get along. but when i think about physics and other people getting it, and me not, then i don't understand anythng because people said iw as supposed to be smart so why don't i get phsyics? why do all these theories and equations make no sense? why am i so science retarded? i don't understand how this happens. and i feel like i'm not supposed to be like this. like im letting someone down or someting people i don't understand
gloryfades72: i feel like i'm letting myself down when i see people everyday who do perfectly well in APphysics and i'm just trying not to cry in an average level. and i mean the scores don't matter to me because it doesnt make a difference whether i have a B or an A but i would like to know what was going on once in a while and i would like to have some vague understanding of the concept at hand rather than putting all my energy into focusing on something that's going right over my head.
gloryfades72: because this doesnt make sense. and things usually make sense
gloryfades72: and i'm stuck because i feel too stupid to try and move.





ps. i love lauren mangiaforte and her wheel chair.