The Darkness is awesome. Well its a new year and i feel the same. my birthday is in a month and a half. seventeen should hopefully be a pretty normal year. but define normal. i finally bought the choke the book but much to my dismay its not THE choke just Choke. either way. i bought it. so i hope its good.

i used to think there was no one else who could ever be like me or understand me at all. i was all ready to pack up and move to wisconsin and attend a private boarding school away from my peers in schaumburg. i was ready to kiss this scene goodbye and meet new people and give myself a new name and life. then my mother gave me probably the only motherly and reassuring advice she ever will. maybe it was because she was about to burn 30 grand a year on a high school education for a daughter she didnt even really know. what compelled her to dish the advice out in the first place matters not. she said "before you decide if you want to go to wayland, you should decide if youre going there because youre running towards the school itself, or because youre running away from something else." it was then and there that i declined my acceptance to wayland accademy and my mom told them to stop calling because i didn't want to go there anymore. I'm glad i didn't because i found people who can relate to me on levels i didnt know existed. Courtney brings out the funny and lame part of myself that is the most apparent everyday, she also keeps me levelheaded about a lot of things and prevents me from wasting my money on stupid shit. Carter is someone who needs to be here but i can't exactly point out any specific thing he does, he just makes me feel good and i think thats pretty important. Lauren Mangiaforte has helped me realize that i am not as weird as i thought i was and she treats me as if i was living up to my actual potential instead of the slacker i am. but more importantly she helped me understand that i really CAN be serious, contrary to popular belief. and to these people, among others, i am forever indebted.


So here's to the R-rated movies and college acceptance letters that are SURE to come in the year 2004.