i love saul williams. i love regina spektor. sometimes i really wish i could write poetry. or something like it. because i would use it to talk about my busy days, and being a girl, and how making jokes gets old. and how getting 12 inches of snow this weekend will be interesting.


I'm tired of the therapy
I'm tired of the
dog
chase
cat
chase
mouse
chase
whatever.
fuck this. the chase.
and my mom's still amazed that i look like her
that this stranger in her house looks just like her
and my dad doesn't get why i act like him
why i bitch, scream, cry, whine, and attack like him
why i take shit eat shit from assholes just like him
and i'm enough like one to be recognized
but too much like the other to identify
fuck it.
and neither of them understand why my brother is quiet
why i'm so fucking loud and my brother is silent
theyre both just glad he's not rebellious like i was
the 8th grade rebel with absolutely no cause
because they give us everything we want but were so ungrateful
they work constantly to feed and clothe us but were so ungrateful
theyre too busy to listen and its all for us
and we're still just so ungrateful
fuck you.
realize
real eyes
real lies
where is that from
i look like my mother but can't go much deeper
because she doesnt
i abuse like my father and can't let it go
because he wont
but i'll take responsibility for my choices when you do.
i'll show you mine if you show me yours
now where have i heard that before
oh if only you knew.
but now everything is perfect as far as they can tell
perfect daughter
turned rebel
turned actor
turned scholar
turned whatever.
oh if only you knew
exactly how much you've missed of my childhood hell