I just spent the last 45 minutes reading all my posts from 2006 and reflecting on them. It seemed like a good intermediate year to pick from. There also weren't that many posts. The saddest part was that I used to be funny. legitimately funny. and legitimately really sad. i actually laughed out loud while reading. now i just sit here sad and alone, lamenting the pile of laundry i haven't folded and the lectures I haven't gone through; and yet, I am completely unwilling to do anything about either of those issues.
I want to believe that I used to handle difficult situations with more grace than I do now even though I know that isn't even remotely true. And that was probably the worst sentence I've ever written. But I'm too lazy to rewrite it. I should just delete it because it is a stupid sentence anyway. There is nothing worse than nostalgic self-absorbed prose. Ok. maybe this huge pile of unfolded clothes is worse. I can see them wrinkling, and yet, I do nothing. It's like the Kitty Genovese of laundry. Yeah. that was really distasteful. But I'm not going to delete that either. Because its the only clever thing I've said in months, I don't care how awful it is.
I used to be witty and now I just complain or cry in my room or watch Property Brothers to avoid studying. My angst used to be so edgy. Who says that? When is angst ever edgy? It is only possible to say that when comparing my then edgy angst to my now obnoxious and intolerable anxiety. That is how awful I am now. My current angst has a 4-fold increase in annoyance when compared to my 2006 angst. Therefore I can conclude that I am currently infected with a humorless and annoying anxiety. and i actually just looked at my virology notes to make sure that was the accurate conclusion to draw from my fake titers of emotion.
If i spent as much time studying as i do trying to come up with funny things to write, I would probably be ranked... exactly the same.
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