Balance we won't know

I feel like I've kind of always come up from behind. I've never had a win in the bag from the first period. I always, without fail, end up in a shoot out.

"It will be fine, Audrey. You're always fine."

I don't feel fine.

On a seemingly unrelated note, I finally figured out that long distance never gets easier. You just try to solve the current problems before you're dealt a new set. You miss out on the quiet easy moments and try to make up for them with small short bursts of interaction. You feel like you're the one trying harder. He feels like he's the one trying harder. It is easy to say  you are good at communication when you're both on the same page. When the stress and exhaustion are palpable on both ends of the conversation, the empathy statements are slow to be said and even slower to be heard.

Late winter has never been easy for me.