today was a day spent in my head. i hung out with courtney as usual. we had a pretty fun time. as usual. now i'm listening to depressing music and thinking about everything. do you ever just start crying for no particular reason at all? maybe there is a reason. maybe its a reason you don't want to think about because it hurts. or maybe it's a lack of understanding and the tears are only those of frustration. i doubt the former is the reason for times liek these. you know when you wish you could just know if everything turns out alright. being happy for so long is a lot of work, depression is bound to relapse. fuck thinking. i hate it.