"Union Jack is a fag!"- SLC punk. i watched it again today with charlie. It's still really good. I got really sick tonight when i was walking around with courtney. it wasn't cool. We spent the night burning cds and doing nothing. The days are starting to blend together and i have a feeling break is going to be over before i even realize it started.I still have a lot of homework. but ill do that later. everything is always later. my whole life can be put off now and maybe picked back up again later when i feel like it. but i never feel like it. i just procrastinate until there is nothing left to procrastinate about. "ill read that later" "ill play guitar later" "ill download that later" ill live my life later, because right now i'm just not in the mood.

today was a day spent in my head. i hung out with courtney as usual. we had a pretty fun time. as usual. now i'm listening to depressing music and thinking about everything. do you ever just start crying for no particular reason at all? maybe there is a reason. maybe its a reason you don't want to think about because it hurts. or maybe it's a lack of understanding and the tears are only those of frustration. i doubt the former is the reason for times liek these. you know when you wish you could just know if everything turns out alright. being happy for so long is a lot of work, depression is bound to relapse. fuck thinking. i hate it.

"If i hurt you then i'm sorry. please don't think that this was easy."
something corporate

"they'll never hurt you like i do."

i can tell today is going to be a pretty bad day. i hate bad days. i guess ill read a book about a chronic depressive. that should put me in a way better mood. yay. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy. lithium.

you make me completely miserable.

"So it goes unsaid that we've been here before.
Lonely nights and endless fights and sleeping on the floor.
And he's sorry, so the story goes.
It's read and replayed and ends the same way
Stop expecting change, he's just a lost cause that you're waiting on."
the starting line

"i just want to be wonderful."
marilyn monroe

i don't know why i opened this. i have nothing to say. Catch Me if You Can is a good movie.

Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can *fuss*.
Fezzik: Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at *us*.
Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no *harm*.
Fezzik: He's really very short on *charm*.
Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that!
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead!
Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it!
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?

I still only love salt lake city punk. i bought this book called prozac nation i have yet to read it. everyone should go read a seperate peace because it is extremely good. and if you've already read it you should read the perks of being a wallflower, and if you think you're too cool for things like books and learning well then... fuck off.

i just realized that everything i ever felt for anyone i was ever in a relationship wasn't really what i thought it was. it was something small magnified to something large only because the idea of what it had the possibility of becoming fascinated me to the point of believing the feelings i had were nothing less than those one would feel in a state of being in love

"You see life is like that...we change, that's all. You see, the guy I am now, is not the guy I was then. If the guy I was then met the guy I am now, he'd beat the shit out of me. Those are the facts."
salt lake city punk

salt lake city punk is the only thing i love. and have ever loved and will ever love. you know besides court.

i haven't updated this in a while. its 2 days after christmas. life is shitty, but today was fun. downtown with courtney. hoooooray. harrison loves jackie. fabulous.

well its christmas eve eve and i don't know. i guess its pretty cool. last night my dream was really fucked up. today i'm off to kohls to exchange some clothes. i really really like taking back sunday. ooh so good. want to hang out? give me a call. oh hey brams i got you something for christmas so tell me should i just mail it? oh whatever.

"This is me with the words on the tip of my tongue
And my eye through the scope
down the barrel of a gun
Remind me not to ever act this way again
This is you trying hard to
make sure that you're seen
With a girl on your arm
and your heart on your sleeve
Remind me not to ever think of you again."
taking back sunday

tonight i have nothing to do. so maybe ill read? charlie wants to rent wayne's world. i'll probably end up doing that. i wish i had a more exciting social life. i guess i should make that a goal.

i feel weird. i think im suffering from withdrawl. i haven't watched princess bride in days. ill do that now

"we both know things never change.
we both know static prevails.
take a seat at your request.
five years i'm still there.
the longest time away, my friend."
jimmy eat world

well i made the play. i am bernice. go bernice go! it's running february 14th and 15th. get ready for this action! this is fun. its finally fun. christmas is already here and its fun. and i really am content. and for the first time i can say i don't care what people think and believe myself.

"Little Minds let little pain
burn big old dreams with little flames
and you don't think I understand, and
Little holes in parachutes
Won't leave you falling
If they do, It's because you wanna land."
something coroporate

play call backs were today. pray for me. i like goldfinger. im in the mood to watch some movie. i don't know which one.

"January came
For April you have stayed
June I was in heaven
July was just the same
September rolled around
October wore a frown
By Christmas, we were through"
goldfinger

CHRISTMAS BREAK IS ALMOST HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 MORE DAY!!! AMAZING.

i love jimmy eat world.

"Wait for something better.
Will I know when it can be us?
Maybe that doesn't mean us.
Wait for something better?
I shouldn't, it's not enough.
Pull one excuse from another.
Just one excuse from another.
This time it means us. stop."

2 more days until christmas break!!!!
"You never knew, well i never told you...
Everything I know about breaking hearts
I learned from you, it's true
I've never done it with the style and grace you have
But I've made long term plans
based on these mistakes"


"Is this what you call tact?
I swear you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back
so let's end this call,
and end this conversation
there's nothing worse... "

i wish i was at that show soo bad. so bad so bad so bad.

"and all of this, it was all your fault"
taking back sunday sold out. i dont think i've been more pissed about not going to a concert. i was so excited and now im just super bummed.
"you're a touch overrated,
you're a lush and I hate it
but these grass stains on my knees
they won't mean a thing"
i think i'm going to marry harrison. i really think so.
"i'm a wishful thinkiner with the worst intentions. This will be the last chance you have to drop my name. if i'm just bad news, then you're a liar."

"Here's my heart just take it,
I don't need it anymore.
I've learned to live without it,
I don't need it anymore.
I've learned not to feel and not to see.
You're like a shadow passing over me.
I don't even notice you."
Glasseater

Well yesterday was D-day and i made it out of the trenches. bah dum chh. but today was fat day and i tried out for the winter play. stinky cheese man don't fail me now. i kind of want to make it. i think it would be really cool. i hope i make it. i need to go work out. uoy etah i htneetxis rebmeced

"I guess it's okay I puked the day away.
I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way.
And if you want me back,
You're gonna have to ask nicer than that, nicer than that."
the used

"Don't think that I can't hear you laugh.
I used to be a lot like you, but now I'm only me."
boysetsfire

oops. i didn't write for 2 days. saturday was a speech meet. i did alright even though i didn't make it to finals. i got 2, 2, 3 and i needed 1, 2, 2 to make it. whatever bullshit that was. i babysat with court and tray last night. today is christmas with the judds. great.

"our souls they speak of something more,
but we cant look beyond ourselves.
we implore empty skies because
our hearts hold room for no one else"
thrice

"Sometimes I think about
The way it used to be
You're not the same person that you started out to be
I haven't talked to you in days
And I guess it's not so hard"
Fenix Tx

"If I hadn't made me, I'd have fallen apart by now
I won't let them make me, It's more than I can allow
So when I make me, I won't be paper mache
And if I fuck me, I'll fuck me my own way"
Incubus

Everything i have posted up to this point has been completely and utterly pointless. I'm going to express myself in the way i do it best, by using words others have already spoken. this is how i feel today

well i'm at school again. last hour i ate a chocolate chip bagel too fast and now i don't feel good. i decided to change my gifted project ideas entirely. now i want to write illustrate AND publish my own childrens story. i still have to find a mentor. but i like this idea of children's literature a lot better. i actaully just like literature in general better. none the less. hey maybe a book of poems? i wonder how much effort it would take to take that published. i wonder if i even could. do you have to be a certain age?

I'm at school now and I'm looking over ideas for a gifted project. I was thinking about doing origami and/or kirigami so if you have any suggestions email me. If you have any other ideas that are artsy and crafty like that let me know. second semester is coming so fast i can't keep up. i don't want to do this project. blah email me with ideas
stickwithskippy144@msn.com

well i decided to clarify what i said before about friends from other schools. chris brady doesn't suck. i am marrying that boy, and if anyone else is concerned about what i think of him/her then tell me because to be honest i can't think of anyone else who would.

Well it's december 10th and i'm starting this off by making the assumption that if you're reading this you know me. So today i without a doubt failed the chemistry test. i got about 3 bloody noses. i'm going to start keeping a record. Student council tomorrow. Charlie wants me to do jump training with him but i doubt i could last a day. Court and i said we were going to start working out. i hope that starts soon i'm quickly becoming a fatass. I just realized in 6 days it will be a year since i started going out with greg. time flies when you're not having any fun. right now i'm listening to jimmy eat world. lately i've been listening to the used, glasseater, and some indie like cursive and brighteyes. i just made up this song the other day. i think it will end up being about friends, and maybe how the ones from other schools suck.